The New Classics

If you've read Entertainment Weekly at all in the past month or so, you've no doubt seen their feature titled 'The New Classics'. 1,000 of (supposedly) the best movies, books, television shows, music, etc of the past 25 years. Last week, Orson Scott Card eviscerated their list of the top 100 novels of the past quarter century. (Actually his article is a really fun read, if only to hear him complain.)

So, if you haven't seen their movie list, follow this link, check it out, then come back here.

Go on, I'll wait.

Ok. Now, any discerning individual will see that something is fundamentally wrong with this list. Oh, sure, I'll defend and agree with probably one quarter of this list. Another quarter I can tolerate. But half this list is complete garbage. Napoleon Dynamite better than Back to the Future? NO. WAY. IN. HELL. I think the foreign films on this list, while some are certainly good, are really obscure (thereby no way the classics EW thinks they are). Documentaries? Nah. And I must be one of the only people on the face of the planet who thinks Pulp Fiction is decent, but in no way groundbreaking enough to be #1 on this list. It does everything that Tarantino did in Reservoir Dogs three years earlier, but with the cardinal sin of being only half as entertaining.

So, I've compiled my own list of the top 100 movies since 1983. Enjoy.

100. Edward Scissorhands (1990)
99. Hero (2004)
98. Office Space (1999)
97. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
96. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
95. The American President (1995)
94. Men in Black (1997)
93. Dead Alive (1992)
92. The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)
91. Welcome to the Dollhouse (1995)
90. Gladiator (2000)
89. Memento (2000)
88. Bowling for Columbine (2002)
87. The Abyss (1989)
86. El Mariachi (1992)
85. The Big Lebowski (1998)
84. Pan’s Labyrinth (2006)
83. The Little Mermaid (1989)
82. Twelve Monkeys (1995)
81. The Karate Kid (1984)
80. Robocop (1986)
79. Chasing Amy (1997)
78. Ed Wood (1994)
77. Ferris Beuller’s Day Off (1986)
76. The Truman Show (1998)
75. Stand by Me (1986)
74. Speed Racer (2008)
73. Fargo (1996)
72. Little Miss Sunshine (2006)
71. Babe (1995)
70. The Fifth Element (1995)
69. Jerry Maguire (1996)
68. Clerks. (1994)
67. Oldboy (2003)
66. Sex, lies, and videotape (1989)
65. Best in Show (2000)
64. Snatch. (2000)
63. Fast, Cheap, and Out of Control (1997)
62. National Lampoon’s Vacation (1983)
61. Beverly Hills Cop (1984)
60. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988)
59. The Matrix (1999)
58. Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987)
57. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)
56. O Brother Where Art Thou? (2000)
55. Sin City (2005)
54. Spider-Man 2 (2004)
53. True Lies (1994)
52. Goldeneye (1995)
51. Glory (1989)
50. Children of Men (2006)
49. Misery (1990)
48. Reservoir Dogs (1991)
47. Stranger than Paradise (1984)
46. The City of Lost Children (1995)
45. Dark City (1998)
44. Akira (1988)
43. Finding Nemo (2003)
42. Groundhog Day (1993)
41. The Mist (2007)
40. Se7en (1995)
39. Rain Man (1988)
38. Field of Dreams (1989)
37. No Country for Old Men (2007)
36. Lethal Weapon (1987)
35. Apollo 13 (1995)
34. The Host (2006)
33. The Breakfast Club (1985)
32. Aliens (1986)
31. There Will Be Blood (2007)
30. The Devil’s Backbone (2001)
29. The Lion King (1994)
28. Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1988)
27. Brazil (1985)
26. Ghostbusters (1984)
25. Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991)
24. The Iron Giant (1999)
23. Shaun of the Dead (2004)
22. Return of the Jedi (1983)
21. Platoon (1986)
20. The Incredibles (2004)
19. The Last Emperor (1987)
18. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
17. Almost Famous (2000)
16. Jurassic Park (1993)
15. La Haine (1995)
14. Do the Right Thing (1989)
13. Beauty and the Beast (1991)
12. Serenity (2005)
11. Unforgiven (1992)
10. Toy Story (1995)
9. Goodfellas (1990)
8. Braveheart (1995)
7. Die Hard (1988)
6. Forrest Gump (1994)
5. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
4. Dances with Wolves (1990)
3. Back to the Future (1985)
2. Schindler’s List (1993)
1. Lord of the Rings (2001-2003)